Eleventh Hour

Down to the wire.

Eleventh hour.

Go time.

Call it what you will, it’s stressful. I’m just gunna get real for a minute, okay?

I’m trying not to stress out over numbers right now. I’m still not where I need to be for my trip account, and if that amount doesn’t show up, I don’t go to Africa. Simple as that. You can’t fly across the world without a plane ticket, you can’t buy a ticket without the moola. I know God is Huge, I know He provides, I know He works in crazy ways. I’ve seen it all first hand, and believe that if it’s His plan, it’ll happen, no matter how stressed out I might be.

Last night at church we talked about Joy. Uncircumstantial, consitent, trusting, peaceful joy. Joy that is deep down, and isn’t shaken by the tough times. Joy that comes from knowing that no matter the outcome, God is at the center of the plan, and that plan is working for your good. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. He who has begun a good work in you will carry it out to completion. I know. But feeling the knowing is different. If that makes any sense at all.

So I’m asking for your prayer. And your donations. And your encouragement. Because sometimes the planning, paying, buying, waiting, discussing, working to get the goal met, is the hardest part. Once I’m there, working with children who are so full of that JOY that it’s contagious, I’ll be more than fine. I’ll be fantastic! Cold, and tired, but fantastic. And that’s what I’m focusing on, hoping for, looking towards; I just need to avoid those momentary thoughts of “uh oh, what if…” cause those bad boys will drag you down in an instant.

Thanks.

If you only had 40 years…

What if, from the moment you were born, you were only expected to live for 40 years?

I would only have 16 years and 2 months left to live if that were true. My mom would have been gone for 11 years, and my grandparents would be long gone.

That is reality for the people in Swaziland, according to Unicef’s most recent report from 2007 of the state of the country. There is basically no middle generation. It is grandparents raising babies, and when the grandparents pass away it becomes babies raising babies. In 2007 there were 56,ooo children living as orphans because of AIDS. Fifty six thousand. And the estimate for people of all ages living with HIV in 2007 was 190,000. Those are some huge, sad numbers.

It’s overwhelming.

You’re only one person. What can ONE person do for 56,000 children, or for the 190,000 living with HIV? And what can only ONE person do, from across the entire world?

I don’t have every answer. I probably don’t have anything more than suggestions for you, actually. But I know what I am going to do about it.

This July I am spending 2 weeks, with a team of eleven other young adults, in Swaziland, loving on all the kids we can. And giving the Gogos (grandmothers, the ladies who are caring for the kids) a little break.

I feel absolutely blessed to be able to do this, and even more so to be contributing to the Legacy Book project.

Sinethemba. I have hope. The name of a sweet baby boy that our team leader met. His mother, Dudu, was dying of AIDS when Morgan met her, and last we heard she was not doing very well. The Legacy Book project was inspired by Morgan’s encounters and relationship with Dudu, a woman who was heartbroken to be leaving her son. The vision for this project is to give the children who will be losing their parents something to hold on to. Memories, photographs of the parents and children together(a rarity in poor rural areas), family history, advice for their futures, things their parents loved about them. Invaluable gifts to a child whose memories will fade, whose heart will long to remember what his mom’s hugs felt like, what her dad’s voice sounded like, the songs their family has sung for years.

If we can help preserve those things, if we can help the parents leave behind a legacy for generations to come to enjoy, then we have done our part. A small part in showing those children that they are valuable, loved, worthy, and not overlooked; that their parents loved them, that their lives can be healthier and longer, that they too can make a difference in someone’s life. That they are special enough for a group of 12 twentysomething year-olds from California to fly across the world to hang out with them, play soccer, teach them anything we can, write down their stories, capture the special way their mothers smile when they look at their child, and freeze a moment in time where parent and child were enjoying the moments they had.

My focus is to be the photographer who captures these moments, to record a part of the life each family is living, and to give the children these photos to keep forever, even past the time when the picture of their mother’s face is still clear in their minds. I’m honored to be a part of this. I’m preparing to cry, a lot, but I’m honored to be able to use my gift to bless others.

Because one person can make a difference.

{If you would like to be a part of this project by helping me meet my fundraising needs, please follow the instructions in the box up on the sidebar titled “Swazi- July 09″. (My  goal is $1,000.00 by June 1st, and a total of $3,00.00 by the end of June, and we leave mid July) Thank you in advance for any donations made! Things like this are not possible without many people coming together and doing what they can to make it work. And if you would like to keep this trip in your prayers, that is also a fantastic contribution, thank you.}

Mr and Mrs Adorable

There’s this adorable little old asian couple (probably in their 70s) that lives in my apartment complex somewhere. I only see them every once in a while, and usually it’s when they go out on walks together. Ocassionally I see them doing Tai Chi in the empty part of the parking lot. They’re usually wearing sweat suits and a flannel shirt, or some other variation of elderly workout attire.

But the other day when I cam home from a long day at work, I saw the cutest thing ever. They were playing basketball together! Just the two of them, a one on one game. She was giggling and smiling as she tried to get the ball past him and into the net. He chuckled and ran slowly after the ball when she missed by a longshot.

It was just nothing I would have ever expected to see. And It was also nothing I would have ever expected to make me so happy. Just an elderly couple, enjoying their time together, shootin’ some hoops.

I hope my husband (wherever he is) and I will be one of those cute old couples some day. Just enjoying our time together, still giggling and in love.

Ten buck challenge!

Ten bucks.

I spent that much on lunch yesterday. And then I spent that much on a shirt.

So, do I have another ten bucks to spare?

Yes. I do.

You probably do too. Especially when your lunch, shirt, 2gallons of gas…could help protect a child from Malaria. And it was super easy to do. I really encourage you to contribute to this…they deserve it! And, Anne is trying to get 50 nets in 50 hours. Easy right!? For you, it means 10 (or 30 if you can do 3 nets…and so on..) bucks…but for the world it ends up being 50 children protected. Just because one lady, who was changed by her experiences in Africa (which I totally relate to!) decided to step out and encourage her online pals to step out. She also has the code available for the banner…

So? Do you have 10bucks and 3 minutes?

Cookies and dirt don’t mix. Or, they shouldn’t.

We live in a country where any one of us can go eat a cookie whenever we want to. Most likely, this cookie will be a decadent and sweet treat…one of countless varieties on store shelves and in pastry cases. With the amount of money we make, we could probably purchase, let’s say, around 50 cookies in a day, and still afford real meals and gas etc.

Well, we’re freakin lucky here. Not because we should eat that many cookies in one day, but because there are parts of this world where having the freedom and resources to even eat a single meal each day is an unknown concept.

In Haiti, the food prices are soaring faster than our gas prices. These are people who live on, in most cases, less than $2 a day. That’s less than a Starbucks drink, and that’s their entire income for the day; and that money probably needs to be stretched further than we know ($2 for food, clothing, transport, water, housing, etc).

Because of this dire situation, many Haitians (and people living in other impoverished areas) have resorted to eating dirt.

Yes, dirt. Eating dirt.

There’s a problem here.

People are taking what little food resources they do have (a little butter or oil etc) and mixing it with dirt to make “cookies”. They do this so their stomachs dont ache as badly. People are eating dirt so their hunger pains are lessened. WHAT!? How did Haiti get like this? How are thousands of people all across the world in this same situation? When did people forget to look out for one another…to share what we’ve been given?

It’s a huge problem. It’s only one of the problems. It’s a heartbreaking issue. It’s God’s children neglecting eachother on so many levels. It’s overwhelming. It’s wrong.

It’s a chance for us to make a difference. It’s an opening for change in the way we all live, think and spend. It’s a reason for our hearts to grow.

So what can you and I do about it? How are we supposed to create any change?

Sponsor a child. From any country. There are hundreds and thousands of children who need sponsors. That translates into hundreds and thousands of families whose lives would improve by you helping one of their own. That leads to hundreds of thousands of communties that would begin to succeed and change. It isn’t only tangible support, but showing that you care enough about someone you’ve never met to give of yourself to see their lives improve. And it all starts with one. One decision made from heartbreak that will create hope. And hope spreads like wildfire.

Learn more about the issues in Haiti through Lori’s blog about the Rescue Center. You can donate to help them help the people of Haiti.

Pray. It does wonders. Pray for the country, the people, the government. Any country, any people, any government. We are all in need in our own ways.

Spread the word and show others how easy it is to make a difference. Use what you’ve been given.

Trust me, you’ve been given more than enough.

Paloma and Paloma

I’m pretty sure I’m writing for myself on this thing. But that’s alright…maybe it’s a less crazy way of talking to yourself? kidding…kinda.

Anywho, I thought I would share about my other “child” today.

She’s from Brazil and has a super cool name. I have to admit, that was a small part of why I chose her. I thought about all of the cool letters between us…”Hi Paloma, it’s Paloma.” Being that I’ve only met one other person with my name (who wasn’t as excited about it as I was, sadly) it’s pretty neat.

Anyways, she’s an adorable little 3 year old girl with curly hair (also makes her cool…do you see a theme here?), who lives with her mother and father. I can’t wait to write to her and get her letters with cute little drawings of flowers and stories of her days in Kindergarten/Preschool.

I just feel honored to be able to make a difference in 2 children’s lives. To help the parents support their families. To let them know that someone across the world cares about them and likes to hear about their favorite games. It all comes back to what we did in South Africa…connecting people across the world because we are all God’s beloved children.

So, thinking about it??? If it is something you feel God nudging you to do..go for it, you can make a difference in a little child’s life, in their family, in their community, in this world.

What did you do this morning?

I chose 2 kids.

What!?

For quite some time now I’ve been thinking about sponsoring a child, but was lazy about it, or unsure of who to sponsor through.

Today I made a difference in this big world by making a big difference in the small worlds of 2 children.

I will introduce you to each of them.

Jully is my little boy. He lives in Kenya with his grandmother and 2 other children in the family. His grandmother sometimes works as a farmer. A farmer. Can you imagine your own grandmother working SOMETIMES…and as a FARMER? And working to support 3 children. After losing your children?

Kenya is also an area affected by HIV/AIDS. The thought that maybe this opportunity will help steer him away from situations that put him at risk of contracting such a thing makes me so hopeful. Which is part of why I think sponsorships work. Aside from practical help for the child-which then takes some of the financial burden off the family, allowing them to better support the other family members- it offers a child across the world a new kind of hope. A hope that someone across the world saw their photo, their eyes, their smile, and read their story, and felt Compassion for them. A stranger, reaching out because they saw a need. Imagine that. Imagine if that’s how everybody lived. That’s how Jesus lived. That’s how I want to live.

This little boy with big beautiful eyes and a look of disappointment in the way his life is turning out now has some hope. Not because I’m amazing, not because his grandmother isn’t hard working (I have no doubt that she collapses into bed each night exhausted from physical labor and emotional stress), it’s only because I realized I could do it. $32 a month to make a difference in the life of not only Jully, but his grandmother, siblings, and community. Maybe even the world. Maybe he’ll become someone who continues this chain of change in this sad world. I hope so. I pray so. I hope to be one more person who encourages him to become a man of God. A man who treats others as God calls him to. A man who WILL make this world a better place just because of his presence in it.

I saw his photo and read the little information that the website provides at this stage, and immediately had this image of his grandmother. Jully has been waiting for over 6months (not sure of exactly how much longer) to be sponsored. This means that for atleast 6 months Jully and his family have been watching other children get sponsored and wondering why no one has chosen him yet. That broke my heart. It broke it more than once. Hopefully it will never be the same.

I pictured his beautiful, tired, worried, hopeful grandmother hearing that Jully had been chosen. I pictured her smile, her tears of relief, the hugging that would happen. I want her to know that even if they struggle, she isn’t the only one supporting him. I want to give her a tangible piece of God’s support.

And all it took was for me to say that I can shop less, be more mindful of how I spend my money, and use what I’ve been given for the good of someone else. Is that something you can do? I understand what it’s like to be broke. And for years I wasn’t able to do this, but now I can, and I love that God blessed me with this job so that I can do things like this. And even if you can’t do it alone, $32 a month is not a lot of money if you pool together each month with friends, family, bible study group, co-workers..whoever feels the same way.

Pray about it. I pray that through these children, the love of God in this world, in their communities, will be seen and felt and noticed. I pray that someday there will no longer be a need for organizations like this.

But until then, there are people like us.

I’ll introduce my other child later, I think this post got long enough and I want to let you stew in those thoughts for a while. See what you and your bank account can cook up. (get it? stew, cook up? anyways…)

Love.

I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. All kinds of love. For now I’ll focus on romantic love. Even more specifically, the desire for romantic love and companionship.

I’m not sure if this is the case for everyone…just my views and experiences.

It seems to me that at some point in time, people began viewing the desire for romantic love and companionship as a sign of weakness. I personally think it’s been a long process in connection with falling so far away from the way we were all created to live. A long misunderstanding passed down through generations of hurt people.

It’s as if by saying that you would like to find a partner to live the rest of your life in love with, it is the same thing as saying that you don’t think you could possibly survive on your own for another second. And while this sometimes is the emotional charge behind a statement like that (especially if you are a woman, talking with other women…and even more so after witnessing a sweet story), I don’t think that is the true meaning or driving force of such a desire.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that the group we call “they” (whoever “they” would be) are always  looking down on someone expressing this sentiment. Neither am I saying that everyone who feels this way has opinions that line up with mine, or even that each person who wants to find love is in a healthy place to look from.

I’m just noticing that the general message portrayed by the media, our society, our feminists and our macho men (yes these are stereotypes, I’m just trying to make a point here), is that if you are longing for companionship then you are weak.

But really, God created us for relationships: relationship with Him, general fellowship with others, to have close friends and family, and to love that one person as close to the way He loves us as possible (Christ and the Church/Husband and wife). That is why people get lonely- from either being alone often, or from lacking deeply rooted relationships in their life.

So all of this to say that it’s okay to want relationships, to want to find “that special someone”, to fall in love, and to stay in love with one person until your time here is over, to be one of those  sweet old couples who still hold hands. God created us to love, and He set the best example ever of how it should be done. As long as your most important relationship is a strong one with the Big One, you’re gold.

Amen? Amen.